I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
