hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
