I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
