But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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