More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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