ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
