I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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