super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
