I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
