i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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