was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize