Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
