just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
