Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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