you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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