I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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