he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
