I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
