Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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