you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
