You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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