Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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