You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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