Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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