I got chris browned last night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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