why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch