She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth