Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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