I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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