Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
