he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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