end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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