I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
