If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
