Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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