Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
