I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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