that's an acceptable place to lick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
