At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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