...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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