Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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