Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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