Whod you bang
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
