Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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