You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
