the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
