sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
