Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
