do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
