I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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