is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
