He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
