i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So many bounce houses so little time
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
