My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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