My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
