If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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