im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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