Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
