dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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