We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
