Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
