So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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