Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I smell stomach acid.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
