Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize