The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
