Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
