why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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