i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize