Welp...herpes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
