keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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