..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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