then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
