i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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